Mister Mercury by Giando Sigurani

Author:Giando Sigurani [Sigurani, Giando]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Greek Gods, mythology, Urban Fantasy, Science Fiction, Funny, humor, hermes, modern
Publisher: Giando Sigurani
Published: 2014-05-17T00:00:00+00:00

23: General Ares

It was night-time at the Pentagon in Washington, D.C. Five Star General Arial Silverman sat back in his huge wingback chair, crossed his enormous boots over his gigantic desk, and puffed on an oversized cigar. Another day, another four billion dollars, he thought.

He should go home. But he never wanted to. Never in his days had he encountered a culture so immensely devoted to war as the United States.

The English Empire was enormous, and spanned across the globe—so large, in fact, that Alexander the Great looked like an enthusiastic door-to-door salesman by comparison. But the thing about the British, he thought, was that while their conquering was fearsome and nearly unstoppable, they didn’t actually relish in it. War was an afterthought for them. Something to occupy their time while they drank tea and wrote classic literature.

But the Americans ... it was like they couldn’t stand peace. Patently silly amounts of money went into developing incredibly destructive weaponry and they were at their most creative when inventing reasons to use them.

Arial puffed on his cigar, admiring his luck. Mortals are a funny bunch, he thought. He'd been here for a hundred and fifty years, and nobody seemed to notice, much less guess who he really was.

He heard a telephone ring. He picked up the receiver for the black phone on his desk. The phone kept ringing.

That meant only one thing.

He opened a drawer on his desk, removed the false bottom, and picked up the receiver for the red telephone that was hidden there.

“Hello?”

“Hey Ares. How is my little brother doing?”

Ares leaned back in his chair and smiled. “I'm not bad. How have you been, Athena?”

“Stressed,” said the Goddess of War. “If you think it's hard to corrupt people, try to keep them away from corruption.”

“Oh, I don't think it's hard to corrupt people at all.”

“Of course you'd know that. I've got some business to take care of. That's why I called you.”

“Oh?” asked Ares. He took another pull of the cigar. “And what business is that?”

“Armor. Lots of it.”

“I think you should call Hephaestus about that.”

“Not that kind. I mean mobile armor. The type that comes on treads and can take Molotov cocktails.”

“Tanks, you mean.”

“That's right,” said Athena. He could hear the smile in her voice.

“What do you need them for?”

“Greece is about to have its meltdown,” said Athena. “There're some underground groups planning a hostile takeover. There're some more planning anarchy. The whole country is about to be brought to its knees.”

“Except for Athens?” asked Ares hopefully.

“Exactly. Yes. I need something that says 'Keep Out' to the anarchists. A whole battalion of somethings.”

“A battalion? When do you think this meltdown is going to happen? It'll take a year for the European Union to approve a sale like that to the Greeks.”

“That's great. I need them in three days.”

“Three days?” asked Ares. The cigar almost dropped from his mouth. “Have you gone mad, older sister?”

“No, it's just those rotten mortals got the jump on me. I thought it would take them longer for them to realize that their government is a joke.

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